Writing Shortcuts (or, On the Nature of a Missing "E")

This will be brief.

I suppose that is only reasonable, as the topic is shortcuts.

Driving along Interstate 64 on my way to work recently I saw a sign that bothered me.  It was one of those electronic signs that can have a different message based on current conditions/traffic/etc.

It said:

BRIDGE WORK ON

I-95 SOUTH

XPECT DELAYS

 No, I did not make a typo up there.  The sign was missing the "E" from the beginning of "EXPECT"

As the astute reader has, no doubt, already noticed the first line is longer than the last.  There was plenty of space available for the "E" to be in its natural place.

Sure, I use shortcuts from time to time (but not terribly often) but this just strikes me as poor work.  It almost seems like something that would have only happened intentionally.

That is all.

Writing an Accent

I recently finished re-reading Desire Under the Elms and was annoyed again by the fact that it was written to phonetically show the accent. This annoys me in plays, but not in a novel or other fiction. I guess I don't mind if a few words are written to give a specific direction for the actor, but when the whole text is littered with apostrophes and different vowels than should be in the word it becomes difficult to read. I almost have to read it out loud to make it work. Maybe there is an acting version of the play written without the accent.

If it is so important how about a preface with a guide to the important accent issues? Something like a map legend, except a legend to common words and important words in the text, and how the author wants them to be pronounced.

• "yew" = "you"
• "calc’late" = "calculate"
• "tuk" = "took"
• and so on...

Is that so unreasonable?

Listening to Black and White

Through the magic of the "selected by random" feature in iTunes Smart playlists I was treated to Metallica's "Black Album" last night and the Beatles "White Album" today.

Not only that, but both albums came on at the right time to be included in my headphones-as-I-walk-across-campus-to-class trek. Both albums are actually quite good headphones listening experiences.

Tonight, as I sit eating dinner and blogging, I am wishing that Danger Mouse (who I think is truly talented) had made his Grey Album from these two instead of the Beatles and Jay Z. Seriously DM, I just didn't get the Grey Album.

Okay, maybe mixing the Beatles and Metallica wouldn't be so great. Beatallica manages to do it badly, but maybe Danger Mouse could have made it work. Too bad it wouldn't fit his genre. If Rick Rubin were more DJ than producer he could do it.

Dear Rick Rubin,
If you read this, please give me some credit for the idea in the liner notes.

Not Boo Boos

This morning at breakfast Peyton was saying something about having boo-boos.

Of course, Liam chimed in about boo-boos too.

So I started saying that I had two big boo-boos, and pointed at the kids that they were the boo-boos.

Of course, they objected to this.

Conversation went as follows

Peyton: "No, we're  not"

Liam: "We're not boo-boos."

Tracie: "What are you then?"

Liam: "We're persons."

Mark and Tracie: [Laugh in hysterics]

That boy can crack us up.

Textbook Update

Finally made it back by the JMU bookstore to look for my book.

They had 3 copies sitting on the shelf.

Looks like fun, doesn't it?

I'm less upset with the bookstore now, although still kind of displeased with the specific customer service issues I experienced when trying to find out about the book.

But I have good news!  It turns out that I get a discount on textbooks because I'm an employee.  Fifteen Percent!!!

I wish I had been using that all along.  Actually I know that I had tried, at some point, to get the discount before and not been successful, so I stopped trying.  (Maybe the rules change from time to time.)

Here's how it went down:

I walk up to the counter.  The cashier asks how I am.  I say "I'm pretty awesome, how are you?"  She says something not nearly as cool as "I'm pretty awesome" then asks me if I'm a JMU employee.  (Apparently I look old now.)  I say yes, and she said that I might get a discount.  I grumbled something like "I don't think it counts on textbooks." and she said why not try anyway, so I gave her my JAC Card and there goes a discount.

I know that the discount hasn't always applied, I tried at least twice.  But I really do wish I had tried every time.  Who knows how much I could have saved?

Now I See What I've been Missing

I went to buy a textbook at the JMU bookstore Yesterday.  (As I write it is September 1.)

For years I have heard all the horror stories about getting books, and how much of a pain it is, and silently made fun of the complainers.  Seriously--I was an undergrad for 6 years, and I'm in my 6th year of grad school--I have plenty of experience in this area.  But I had never had any trouble.  I'm not kidding.  Not one time, ever, have I not been able to get a book in a timely manner.  Sometimes I bought the new book because they were out of used, many times I thought the price was ridiculous for new or used.  But the books I needed were always there.  I've never ordered online, I've never used the alternative, off-campus store.

So this time around--in my penultimate semester I have trouble. (see note at bottom)

First I had gone to the bookstore on Aug 22, and one of the 2 textbooks for my class was there.  I picked that one up, and there was a sign for the other one saying it was on order and would be in around Aug 28.  The first class was scheduled for Aug 26, so I figured "No big deal--I'll be missing one book for the first class and pick it up a couple days later.

I waited until Aug 31 to go back--it's a small class, so I assumed it wouldn't sell out.  When I checked it wasn't on the shelf--in fact, the sign that said it would be in around Aug 28 was still there.  I went to the information desk to inquire.

The person at the desk looked the book up and said that they might arive later in the day.  Then she said something roughly like "Oh!  Maybe that won't be enough."  She never said how many were on order to me--it must be a pretty small number.  She then said that some of them might already be spoken for--presumably people can prepay for their books so that when they arrive the bookstore will hold them.  But she couldn't tell me how many of the impending shipment were already claimed.  This fact made me think that there is a pretty good chance the people who prepaid won't get them.  Shouldn't they know how many are claimed?  If they don't know how many are claimed, how can they put the right number on the shelf?

She asked if I wanted to prepay and wait for another shipment--a shipment that would take at least 4 days to arrive.  I said "what if I find it somewhere else and buy it before it gets here?  Can I get my money back?"  She said that all textbooks could be returned up to September 2.

Please let that sink in.

It was August 31.
The order would take 4 days.
I could get a refund up to September 2.

This does not compute.

I retort, "You do realize that September 2 is fewer than four days away."  And she told me that they always allow 2 days from purchase to return--and in this case that would be 2 days from picking it up.  (I was dubious about this, but let it go.  Wouldn't my reciept, if I prepaid, say "Aug 31"?)

I said "Let me get this straight.  You are telling me that there are some on order, that were expected to arrive last week and didn't, but might arrive today, you don't know how many, but it is a small number, and some of them may already be claimed, but you don't know how many (if any) either?  And I can prepay for something now, and then might still have to wait more than 4 days to get the book?"

She replied in the affirmative.

I chose not to get the book then and there.

I am about to walk over there to see if they have a copy now.  If not, I will go to the off-campus store.  If nothing there, I will go online.

So... Now I See What I've Been Missing.  Now I have some idea what people are talking about when they say they have trouble getting the books they need.  I have some thoughts on all this, that I may or may not explore more.  Briefly, I think that all the alternative book sources probably make finding a book worse, although they offer less expensive options.  But I'll need to think it out to be sure.




Note on penultimate semester:  This is, definitely, the penultimate semester for this particular degree.  JMU has a policy that all work on a Master's degree must be completed within a six-year timespan.  My six years will run out this year.  I spent six years as an undergrad.  (Technically five-and-a-half undergrad and a half as a non-degree-seeking, but that semester included all undergrad level courses.)  I have now spent almost as many years as a college student as I spent in K-12.

Cows

Last night we lit a fire in our outdoor firepit and cooked "hobo packs" for dinner.  (If you don't know, hobo packs are simple foil packets filled with veggies and some meat, then cooked by putting them into a fire.  This time we had--as we usually have--potatoes, carrots, onions and ground beef.)


While we were eating Peyton said something about having a bite of pork.  Tracie and I told her that it was beef, not pork, because it came from a cow.


It also just happens that we were using some beef that came from the family farm.  So we mentioned to her that the beef came from "the cows on Grandad's farm."  And then she was saying "I'm eating cow." and stuff like that.

Then Liam said "I want to eat some cow.  Mama, will you cut my cow?"


It's kind of weird, but it was also really hilarious.  I'm glad that they didn't freak out and stop eating when they thought about it as a cow instead of as "beef."

This does not do justice to how funny it was.